For Her Eyes Only

More and more women are finding a sense of freedom and empowerment from female-focused events.

By M.J. Blank

Betsy Wiersma was at a crossroads in her life. That’s when she decided to call on her skills as an event marketing expert to capitalize on the experience. A new mom at 41, she suddenly faced head-on the kind of pressure many women deal with in her shoes, and she figured there was a demand for a gathering that would focus squarely on some of those issues.

“I saw there were so many women who just gave and gave to so many people all the time, but when it came to replenishing themselves or meeting other women, most everything I found was a one-day-style leadership retreat. You’d have this one day and then go back, and your world would show up.” So she created CampExperience, a three-day women’s retreat in Copper Mountain, Colorado, designed to provide education, inspiration, and networking opportunities that would appeal to women who wanted to step back off the merry-go-round for a few days and put some perspective in their lives. Two years ago she signed up 140 kindred spirits for the program; for this year’s September event she’s cutting off registration at 260.

Those 260 souls, plus the 350,000 women who line up every year for dozens of Women of Faith Conferences around the country, and hundreds of thousands more who seek out the company of other women at church- and community-organized confer-ences, retreats, and workshops, are no tiny blip on the radar. What’s going on here?

“We don’t get many chances to really relate to each other,” explains Gayle Smith, an educational consultant who operates women’s programs for churches and other organizations. “In the workplace, often there is a lot of pressure to compete with the other women and the stress of having to perform. When we’re in church, we have on our game faces and don’t let people know what we’re hurting about. When we’re out on the street, we’re getting done what we need to get done—doing the errands, getting the kids taken care of. So there is not that little space of time that is devoted just to us. We feel there is a greater opportunity to open up and relax when the agenda for the meeting is strictly for us.”

At the same time, many women also feel cut off from their sisters. In a survey, 85 percent of the attendees of Smith’s seminars cited “isolation” as a barrier in their lives. They craved small environments where they could connect with other women.

Today’s woman is juggling multiple roles—wife, mother, wage earner, elder caregiver—with what often seems like less and less time for herself. Gone are the days when women had the luxury of forming tight friendships in neighborhood kaffeeklatsches.

Today the norm is pressure from all sides, to give, give, give—with no one giving back. Women’s events are designed to refocus attention on the individual and encourage women to empower themselves, often in part by renewing their faith. They represent a chance, if only for a few days, for women to put their day-to-day concerns aside and grow by sharing and forming new relationships. They also help women realize that they are not alone, that many of their sisters share the same challenges.

“Our goal is to let women know that God loves them unconditionally,” says Mozella Brown, booking and scheduling manager for Thomas Nelson Live Events, which runs the Women of Faith programs. “We’re not there to tell you what to do. We want women to laugh, cry—and have fun.”

But many events go beyond that. “You have to offer something that provides a sense of spiritual enrichment so that when that woman leaves, she knows that her soul and spirit have been fed,” agrees Ann Ferguson, program coordinator and primary staff to the planning team for the Churchwide Gathering of Presbyterian Women, which happens every three years. “But it has to be challenging, too. Presbyterians tend to be highly educated, so you have to give them some meat as well as some happy music. They want more than that.”

Taking Off in New Directions

Just as the need for women’s events has evolved, so have the needs of the women who attend them. At one time, the audience might have been more homogeneous—back in the day when women tended to be stay-at-home moms—but today organizations are challenged to cater to diverse age groups with varied needs and agendas. Younger women have childcare needs, which some groups are addressing with shorter programs and attempts to provide childcare. This year, American Baptist Churches’ National Women’s Conference designed “Bridging the Gap,” a conference-within-a-conference with activities and workshops designed for women aged 18 to 50. More women want to bring their daughters and granddaughters along, and more church groups are accommodating the younger set with their own separate programming. Women of Faith went all out and started the Revolve Tour, a separate conference for girls, in 2005; these events are as popular as their adult counterparts.

Kris Steinnes, who founded the Women of Wisdom conference 16 years ago while on the board of the Seattle Unity Church, says women in their early 20s “don’t think of themselves as women. People in their 20s are off living their lives and not always going inward; they don’t start doing that until they’re in their 30s.” But she is seeing more interest among a younger demographic, something she thinks reflects greater concern for more global problems, such as the environment, among younger women.

Younger working women with families are another consideration. The Presbyterians’ Gathering staff is debating whether it should incorporate some men’s activities into its program to attract this segment. “When both parents are working, they want to do family things,” explains Ferguson. Women of Wisdom has always welcomed men during the evening portions of its schedule, but the focus is on creating an environment where women feel comfortable opening up.

“A conference for women really is more of an opportunity to apply techniques, share and develop strategies,” Smith says. “Usually with men involved there is a different format—and the added element of trying to relate to the male component that is there.” A major reason for having a female-only focus is to encourage more openness, she adds.

Older women, on the other hand, have more time to linger and a different perspective on life. “I think women are getting together more, especially retired women, because they have money, and they want to travel and get together with other women,” says Joyce Camp, conference coordinator for the American Baptist Women’s Ministries.

In general, however, people don’t want to travel as far in our post–9/11 era or with the current economy, so shorter regional meetings are popping up to replace annual weeklong events. Women of Wisdom, for instance, started as an eight-day event, but in a post-9/11 era, the schedule has been trimmed to three and a half days, and groups are smaller.

“We try to do our conferences in areas where people can drive in,” Brown says. Typically, Women of Faith stages regional two-day meetings throughout the year and one three-day national conference that might pull in up to 14,000 attendees; this year, the econ-omy put plans for the national event on hold until next year.

Critical Factors

Another issue is keeping programming fresh. Repeat registrations signal that you’re doing something right, but also present a challenge. How do you keep it fresh? Speakers, musicians, and activities need to be varied from one year or event to the next.

Timing is everything for women’s events. Schedule something during a school holiday and you will run into logistical challenges. Try doing it in the summer and you’ll find conflicts with family vacations. Change the traditional date of an annual event, as the American Baptist Women’s Ministries did, and you may see some drop-off in attendance because women’s schedules are usually contingent on others.

One theory for why women’s events have mushroomed is the Internet. In the past, many potential attendees may not have been aware that something out there existed for them; today, e-mail promotion has opened up the universe to them. “I’m on the computer every day keeping in touch with people,” Camp says.

Indeed, some faith-based groups use the Web to enlist promotional help from other church members. On the website for the 2009 Churchwide Gathering of Presbyterian Women, there is a link for members to download a promotional packet and flier and skits that explain what the Gathering is all about. You can even buy T-shirts imprinted with the next event’s logo.

Whatever the reason—the bonding, the new experiences, the spiritual uplift—many women’s events seem to engender a fierce loyalty. “I look forward to this event more than anything in the year,” says Carol Schmidt, director of conference sales for Copper Mountain, talking about Camp Experience. It’s work for her, but also uplifting. “The women bond, you can share stuff in a nonthreatening fashion, and you can see how change can occur,” she explains. “With the seminars and self-improvement focus, you walk away feeling rejuvenated—like a whole new person.”

What Women Want

Unlike the Women of Faith, not every group can foot the bill for high-powered motivational speakers and American Idol-caliber entertainers, but some common threads run through successful gatherings geared toward women. Among those:

• Fun is a necessary element!

• Issues: Depending on the group, discussion about world issues is critical to a women’s program.

• Bazaars: Most women don’t need their arm twisted to go shopping, so bazaars are a popular element of some events. The Presbyterian Women’s Gathering hosts a global marketplace where coffee, jewelry, knickknacks, clothing, and other items from cooperatives and church-related ministries are sold. “If you’re going to sell T-shirts, you’d better make sure they are fair trade, and they’d better be from a cooperative or some corporation, not from a sweatshop—these women look at the labels,” Ferguson says. CampExperience uses the bazaar as a way to raise donations for those who are less fortunate economically: All “campers” are encouraged to bring along items they no longer need, and those items are donated to a fun boutique for the whole group. All the money goes to charity. “We raised $7,500 buying each other’s crap last year,” says Wiersma.

• Ability to learn or try something new: In addition to traditional Bible studies, this might include workshops on world issues, creative writing, art projects, or computers. For some, it might be a physical challenge, such as golf or zipline tours. For others, workshops might cover leadership skills, ways to work with a congregation, life skills, and more.

• Icebreakers: How do you get people to open up? An important aspect of the American Baptist Women’s Ministries is called connecting groups. Women are arranged into small discussion groups that deliberately incorporate people they don’t know from different parts of the country. There, they get to know each other, discuss the day’s Bible study, and pray for each other. A less subtle technique that Gayle Smith sometimes uses is to offer door prizes to the woman in the group with the most lipsticks in her purse.

• Entertainment: It’s not always essential, but it helps. Singing plays a big part at most faith-based conferences.

• Personal story-sharing: Whether it’s in small discussion groups or coming from the mouth of a plenary or featured speaker, getting difficult challenges out in the open is a hallmark of many female-centric events. At Women of Faith programs, dramas cover common life situations, such as breast cancer or taking care of aging parents, with everything tied to a common theme.